it happens. but why me?

i tried. i really did.

the aim: to save the tooth.

4 appointments spanning several months. 3 hours each.

but all it takes is a slight mistake of 1mm, maybe less.

"It's gone, take it out."

"Is it cause of what i did..?"

"Yes." Consultants and their direct, short answers that is straight to the point, not giving the slightest bit of cushioning.

"Ow.." any remaining speck of hope or confidence evaporated.

"It happens," was all he managed before he disappeared.

Now to break the bad news.

"So what now?" the 18-year-old patient asked me with full of hope.

"That is a good question.. well... you see... " was how i started that fateful afternoon..

last birthday for this term

Monday was definitely one of the most tiring days ever, to be out and about for 12hours with only 15mins in between to rest and to walk for hours with no water to the wrong venue. i was so tired i had to sit at the bus stop and rest for 20mins while a couple of buses passed by.

on a lighter note, pig-out lunch treat at Bodean for eric's birthday last saturday. portions are big, but ribs kinda dry and buffalo wings aren't as good as Chilli's.

dinner at Nando's with whoever's left! have a great birthday, eric, wherever you are going for ur birthday celebration tomorrow :P and now that i'm at it, happy birthday ang.

i've yet to...

just as i thought that i've experienced alot in life (live life to the fullest, i'll always say), meeting new ppl, eating different types of food, travelling to many places, trying rare opportunities that only come by once ..

i've yet to sit for my finals
i've yet to graduate
i've yet to find a new job
i've yet to earn my first paycheck (as a dentist)
i've yet to see the dirty office politics
i've yet to climb the ladder, maybe specialize
i've yet to open my own practice (hopefuly!)
i've yet to hire my own staff
i've yet to rent (and then Own) my own place
i've yet to get my own car
i've yet to meet the man of my dreams (maybe i have?)
i've yet to be (romantically) proposed to *fingers crossed* :)
i've yet to accept the proposal :D
i've yet to walk down the aisle (or prepare for it!) :D :D
i've yet to enjoy my honeymoon :D :D :D
i've yet to make children (urgh!) :(
i've yet to bear children (double urgh!) :((
i've yet to experience motherhood (triple urgh!) :(((
i've yet to taste the ups and downs of marriage (endless urgh!) :'(
i've yet to face the 'in-laws' (i give up.. ) :S
i've yet to have my own slice of the real world +_+"

wow, there's alotttttttttttttttt i've yet to do, most of them, Not really looking forward to, besides the (romantic) proposal part :) honeymoon part :D and maybe having a cute baby but Not the process of getting it with morning sickness, undergoing painful labour or even taking care of it.. dont mind attending baby classes with friends though, that ought to be fun :P

i agree, no hurry there. enjoy the final year of university first. scary world can wait.

their big day

Today, wherever i go, i see 3 ppl.
the mum, the dad and the graduate.
sometimes, a brother or a sister.
But mostly, trios.

the champagne reception afterwards with finger food. lots of photo-taking and professors talking to graduates with parents.

how jealous. i wish it was me.

then again, they always say uni life is the best. but still.

~congratulations graduates~
countdown for my turn. 364days.
fingers crossed.

amnesic

"i told you already laaaaaaa"

i dont know how many times i heard that just this week alone (i think mostly from ashie regarding electives/shopping/studies etc..) i am not sure if it's either me not being attentive enough when the information was conveyed, not being awake enough to store what i heard in my tiny brain or just being plain forgetful.

it's frustrating ppl that they have to keep repeating themselves, and its frustrating me as well for being so forgetful and embarrassingly repeating the same questions with a really clueless face like a patient with dementia.

perhaps all the workload, having 30mins-1hour lunch breaks plus stretching till 6.30/7pm, for the past fortnight, is starting to take a toll on me. with so many things crammed in my head, i am bound to forget the smaller things. like what ashie bought while shopping yesterday >_<" but i know as friends, its no excuse.

pls accept my apologies, dear friends, and bear with an amnesic helen. i think i am starting to forget more and more things now, even the calories of a cereal bar (which on a normal day, i know the calories of 3 different brands of cereal bars) or when someone is having exams/graduating/leaving UK/visiting london/working as/staying where/having which gf or bf/birthdays etc..

"i told you already laaaaaaa"

"sorry la.. slipped my mind.." what else can i say?

overcrowded

i was blog-hopping. and i hopped, and hopped and hopped till i dont even know where i started from. and then it occured to me..

How Many Blogs Are There Out There?!?!?!

if each person have at leastttt one blog, there must be millionssssss! i felt that the internet is overcrowded already although that's impossible. and then i come to think of their blogs the same way i think of mine..

do people actually read these blogs?

fine, lots of them are pretty famous blogs which are constantly visited at a rate of at least 30 clicks perhour. maybe alot more. but to have people reading millionssss of blogs, that requires many many millionsssssss of bored readers stuck to their computers day and night (like myself).

don't underestimate the amount of time and energy blogs can consume from the human race. 1 person may take 1 hour to write 1 post, and to have maybe 150 ppl reading it for perhaps 2 mins each, that's 300mins/5hours!! that means 1 blog post can consume a total of 6 hours, what more 475827485784375912384903240223 blog posts out there...

we're living in an era where bloging is one of the most powerful tool of communication.

Little and Large

Ping Pong Dim Sum restaurant at Baywater (there are other branches) little steamed parcels of deliciousness

there are different set menus like buffets, seafood, healthy (with 478 calories), small hunger, mix etc as well. the place looks nice n modern but its not a really authentic chinese restaurant. ok for hangout, but not for dimsum. interesting variety of teas serve. but the fruit bun with fruit puree dessert is an absolute no no. a super sour steam bun with berries? western influence on chinese food gone wrong. plus we waited more than half an hour for it.

after having the little steamed parcels of deliciousness we head on to the Big Screen, the Imax 3D at Waterloo, apparently the largest screen in UK. We watched Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. it actually feels more like a widescreen than a 3D to me, we didnt even have to wear the specs! I think either the imax 3D in Bradford is better or this film wasn't made for 3D. but thankfully Transformers is already action-packed as it is.

Dinner at Rasa Sayang, Chinatown. how's the food? ok-ok-larr.. reminds me of Kopi tiam and C&R, i can revisit the place but it doesnt matter if i never do. i had nasi lemak and it was reasonable, but the chicken was abit undercooked inside. the assam fish was not too bad though and so is the kang kung belacan, though abit oily. the roti canai was definitely not made on the spot like how we have it back home, and the gravy was kinda salty to me. the noodle is so-so too.

so where's the Best Malaysian Food in London? wait till i try puji2, campor2, bali2, nyonya etc.. then i'll get back to you..
found this Candy Cafe at Chinatown next to a taiwanese restaurant (which i also wana try) on the same side as rasa sayang serving ipoh white coffee, kaya butter toast, soya bean and the sorts.. feels so malaysian! perhaps it shall be my next stop. after japan.

sore loser?

the question came up among some girl-gossipings..

"if u r compared to the new gf of ur ex,
would u rather be better or worse than her?"

a couple of us immediately squealed "of Coz Bettahhh!!"

"If ur ex leaves u for someone better, than understandable-lah why u lost to her. But if he leaves u for someone worse, wont that make u think 'whats wrong with me???'.."

to which we went "good question. damn."

but won't any girl naturally wanna be the 'better' one when to compared to other competitors (his ex or new gfs too!) , in any aspects, but especially in terms of looks and size. (brains & personality? since when do those matter to guys? *ouchy, jk! peace :P * well u gotta confess, looks give the 1st impression!)

any girl would be a sucker for 'You are the prettiest girl i've ever dated!' (provided she's not the only!) instead of 'Well, you aren't the prettiest, neither the slimmest nor the smartest too, not the greatest personality too but oh well, i guess u can be nice to hang out with sometimes. And u can eat ALOT! ' Bummer!

(yes, i've actually been compared before and not a sound if i was the prettiest/slimmest etc etc.. but was told that i can Eat the Most. not sure if that's a good title to hold..)

everyone is different/unique/special so don't compare.

what a cliché! dont try to fool me. honestly, which girl or guy doesn't compare to the next new girl/guy in their ex's life? we are just sore losers, aren't we?

in a tight spot

tight.

funny how u can be in a big spacious room, yet u feel stuck like u have no where to go. feels like driving where u turn left and u smash into a tree Or u turn right and u swerve into the river. yet u can't stay where u are anymore, the cars behind are honking madly.

what happens when the truth clashes with the-right-thing-to-do?

reminds me of the workshop 2 days ago when the ethics tutor was talking about referring an unwell patient to another department.

u need to get the details like the address of this patient, as u suspect she has an infectious disease like HIV or perhaps cancer, to refer to oral medicine for further investigation. however the patient refuses to give her address. after further persuasion with the promise of strict confidentiality between the dentist and patient, she tells u she's an illegal immigrant staying with her sister so she doesn't want to tell u her address coz she dont want be deported or her sister to get into trouble or be evicted.

what do u do? do u ring the immigration office the minute she steps out of the dental clinic? how do u refer then? what happens to dentist-patient trust? does hiding the truth makes u part of the crime as well? but how would u find out what disease she's having then? since u can't get her checked or tested, what happens if her health deteriorates? what if she has HIV and infects someone else who's innocent and clueless as well? that means other people's lives are at jeopardy as well..what if what if..

in a tight spot.

i was there. walking on thin ice isn't any fun, especially when u have a whole load of burden on ur shoulders. how much shud u say? how muc shud u refrain? shud u even ask further? what words shud u use? is lying the same as hiding the truth? shud u even take sides?

as least if u cant fit into tight old jeans, u can try losing the weight or get new jeans. but in a sticky situation, its more like a hit or miss. u escape, or u dont. unfortunately luck wasn't on my side. all my knowledge of ethics, moral values and conscience was put to the test, which failed badly.

coz i thought if i drove fast enough and aim high, i would be able to drive around the tree and continue my journey behind it and i'll be unscratched, leaving the tree standing tall and firm, leaving the river flowing peacefully..

but instead, i smashed so hard into the tree on the left that not only did it fell, i swung and fell into the river on the right as well, causing a great big splash and a huge disruption to the flow..

funny how i aim to save the tree and avoid the river as well (and save my butt too now that i'm at it) but ended up destroying both. which is why i love maths. its the only world where 2 negatives equates a positive.

double damage. not to mention the damage this has caused me. it cant get any worst than this.

i'll be there

"..i want to share this song to you from mins 1:27 to 1:45.."

what do you say to that?

Fun Weekend in Manchester

last weekend i went back to my 2nd home, Manchester.

the manchesterian was complaining at how this londoner and the edinburghian have our blue-pink BFF necklaces, but little did she know we actually had a BFF for 3 as well for the 3 of us! here's us holding onto our new BFF necklaces with bubble tea in Wong Wong, me taking the left, Best, pei lian the centre, Friend (coz she's in manchester connecting us all) and pei pei taking the right, Forever.. now i have 2 BFF necklaces coz i have 2 BFs! :)

dim sum at Pacific Restaurant, apparently its better than Tai wu. there's 11 of us so we had a huge variety to dim sums, some were new to me. the deep fried octopus/squid was yummy, the deep fried prawn dumplings were good too and the cheong fan was different, it was plain with sweet sauce on the side, the top right pics was before & after mixing the brown+black sauce on it. and all for just a fiver, what a bargain!

11 satisfied customers.

us girls decided to do some poses outside the restaurant

and some exercise as well after a good meal! poor pei lian cant jump coz shes wearing a short blue dress, but surprisingly she stil looks taller than some of us even though she din really jump!

the sweet photo that lots of us like.. except me perhaps, due to the fat arm! *grumbles*

and a picture each with our male photographers/handbag carrier..

it was charity bbq at plaits field park after that (which i didnt take pic of!) followed by faluda with mint choc ice cream and pei lians home baked cup cakes!

dinner was at their favourite korean place, Yechan Foods; the bibimbap before n after mixing, kimchi omelette (which was pretty good), cod fish soup, pork bulgogi and aloe vera drinks.. costs us £7 each only..

then it was clubbing at Tiger Tiger that night.. entrance, also £7.. even the drinks costed me alot more than that.. had a wickedddddd time, we were on our feet, dancing till 3am (which explains why i slept for 12.5hours on Sun night) which was when the club closed. now i understand why clubbing is alot more fun when u r with ur good friends (who know how to dance, have a good time & enjoy clubbing too!) , not with strangers obviously..

on Sunday we went to Try Thai, i think its one of the best thai restaurants i ever had! and the lunch 3 courses was £7 only! i had mussels for starter, chilli paste with sweet basil crispy pork belly with egg fried rice and ice cream. deliciousss! i would say the pad thai noodle was very good too (busaba, london kalah teruk) , and so was the curry noodle, the starter salad and starter coriander beef. the ice cream is just like any other ice cream, but for £7 for such good starters & mains, i am not complaining.

last stop was getting Fortune Cookies! and that was the end of my short 30hours in my 2nd home. i exchanged my blue bff necklace for the pink one now, and so i have two necklaces both with the words Best! i think ppl would think that i'm a girl who's madly in love since i'm wearing 2 heart-shaped necklaces.

that marks the end of my busy foodie month of June! just because my bestie had a whole month of June off, she came to london twice (long foodie weekend & bestie day out) and even dragged me to manchester with her, making me feel like i'm having a whole month of holiday as well! how my pocket burntttt (surprisingly now i complain more of busy with assignments, being tired & getting broke than being fatter)! Now it's back to 3weeks of super-saving mode before its off to a super-expensive place, Japan!

my fortune cookie said 'luck will be on your side this week' ..well, that's nice to know, although i dont really believe in luck. unless the fortune cookie can prove me wrong.

3 angles, 1 triangle

perhaps there was a reason why.

complicated, yes.
avoidable, maybe.
happy ending, no.

first, there he was, noticing her laughing in the quiet aisle with her back leaning onto the wall. then there was a familliar male figure, leaning onto her, his face inching closer and closer to hers .. and he watched as their eyes closed and their lips locked.

to be the third party who doesn't think that he's backstabbing since its just for fun's sake

to be the two-timer who hugs one guy in the morning and kisses another at night, thinking she owes noone an explanation

to be the blind fool who believes everything she says but couldn't believe his own eyes

3 angles..

1 triangle.
equally wide, equally narrow.

3 different opinions complicated with a million and one lies..
1 truth.
equally sensible, equally nonsense.

what happens when the cat gets out of the bag?

can u see the dark clouds? a great storm is coming, and no amount of shade will prevent the pouring of tears down the cheeks, no amount of hiding will prevent the thunders of accusations, no amount of strong shelter will prevent the breaking of hearts.

i can hear the cat scratching more and more now.
would it be in time to seal the hole before it gets too big?
or perhaps prepare for the worst once its out?

hmm.. where is that cellophane tape.. and the raincoat..
if i act fast enough, would i be able to fix the bag, fix the heartbreaks, and fix the friendships?